5 L's, 3 M's

Today is Ascension Thursday, a holyday of obligation in six of the 33 ecclesiastical providences of the U.S.  (What that means is Catholics who live in Wheeling, West Virginia, or Youngstown, Ohio, don’t have to go to Mass today.  Step over the state line into Pennsylvania, or fly into Omaha, Nebraska, and they do.)

For me it means celebrating four Masses in less than 24 hours.  I am sure that there are many priests who preside at more liturgies, on holydays and Sundays, than this.  No complaints from me.  What the holy day also means is that around the Masses I work on the five L’s.  What, you haven’t heard about the five L’s?  Lights, leaks, locks, loot and lawns.  Some pastors add more L’s:  lawyers, litigation and loonies.

For example, yesterday afternoon I spent two hours writing a memo to a company engaged by our diocese to review annually the value of each parish’s buildings.  The report I received was totally screwed up – listing four parishes in Sharpsburg instead of one; attributing four buildings to our ownership which we sold a year ago – and it took four detailed ages for me to explain our situation, and another two pages for our bookkeeper to list the $65,000 worth of repairs we did to 11 buildings over the past 12 months.  (This was a slow year.  The previous fiscal year our parish did over $400,000 in necessary, over-due repairs to our churches.)  I admit, it is hard for non-churchy people to understand our odd lingo:  suppressed parishes; one parish with three church buildings, two rectories and one cemetery, each with different names; priest as trust administrator.  So I take the time to explain it all as clearly as possible.

This morning our local computer consultant recommended we get new computer “towers,” noting that three of the four in our parish office are ancient, over seven years old. (No wonder my computer is slower than a politician admitting his mistakes.)  In another hour an electrician we called is coming to examine burned out light sockets in the guest bathroom in my house, and give me a price for replacement.   Next week we scheduled roof repairs for St. Mary Church (how much, if any, will insurance cover?).  We also have to get the A/C guy to come out and look as a balky unit in St. John Cantius Church which is only eight months old. 

What I wish, and I suspect most every pastor wishes, is to spend the bulk of time not on the five L’s but on the three M’s:  mission, ministry and members.