Pope of Surprising Phone Calls

Pope Francis is not only the "pope of surprises" but also the "pope of surprising phone calls."  At least three times in the past month Pope Francis has picked up the telephone in his small two-room suite and called folks who have written him letters.  On August 18 Francis phoned Stefano Cabizza, a 19-year old Italian engineering student.  Ten days earlier he called Michele Ferri, the 14-year old brother of a gas station operator in Pesaro, Italy, who had been killed during a robbery.

And last weekend there was a report that the pope talked with Anna Romano.  The 35-year old Romano had written to the pope that her boyfriend had revealed he was married when she told him she was pregnant.  Her boyfriend also told her to get an abortion, advice she was determined to ignore.  Romano said in the letter that she feared she would not be able to find a priest to baptize her baby.  She said, "The pope told me I was very brave and strong to decide to keep my baby, and that he would personally do the baptism if she could not find a priest.

Reportedly the Italians are amazed at such informality, calling him "the cold-call pope."  By all accounts, there is no bishop-secretary saying to these folks, "His Holiness the Bishop of Rome wishes to speak to you, please hold the line."  Rather, he dials the number himself and says simply, "This is Pope Francis."  He insists on using the informal Italian "tu" rather than the formal "Lei" in speaking with his new friends.  To the 19-year old, the pope jokingly asked, "Do you think the apostles called Jesus Your Excellency?"

One Italian columnist, Beppe Severgnini, writing in Corriere della Sera, had fun with these phone conversations, and offered advice concerning phone etiquette with the pontiff.

• "Papa Bergoglio is maybe the last guy on earth who actually calls land lines.  If you hear your home phone ringing, therefore get ready."
• "Don't go overboard in one direction or another in addressing the pope.  Calling him 'Frankie' would be inappropriate.  'Your Holiness' is safe, but don't get carried away with appellations such as 'Your Magnificence' or 'Your Megagalacticness.'"
• "Don't be afraid to be normal, and use humor.  If Pope Francis wanted to be bored, he would have called a government minister."
• "Pope Francis has a good sense of humor.  Tell him that's a beautiful thing, because irony is the sister of mercy; allowing yourself to smile and to forgive the imperfections of the world."
• "Don't ask for anything practical, like a sponsor slip or a favor.  He's an important man, but he's not a bureaucrat."
• "Ask about Benedict's health, which will make him happy."
• "Don't end the conversation yourself, but let the pontiff decide when to say goodbye.  If your wife or mother starts yelling that the dinner is getting cold, ignore them.  Then when you are pouring the wine, say, 'The Successor to St. Peter says hello.  So, what's for dinner?'"

This whole "pope calls ordinary people" makes me nervous.  What if he gets the idea of calling ordinary priests?  I know how my blood pressure has risen in the past when the secretary says, "The bishop is on line one."  What would I say to the pope?  "Have you made your pledge to Parish Share or the diocesan capital campaign?"  "What's the matter with the Steelers?"  "What's the latest Vatican gossip?"  "Do you think I should trade in my new car and buy a used car?"

So, if Pope Francis broke the Vatican bank and made a trans-Atlantic phone call to you next Sunday, what would you tell him?