This situation is emotionally tricky also. I jump almost overnight from a rectory which became a home and a community in which I knew most names and which knew me, warts and all, to (in my case) two communities I don’t know. On a personal level in my new rectory I have yet to find out how to use the tclicker to turn on the satellite tv. Somewhere amid two dozen boxes is the one with my clean underwear. (Hope this is not "TMI.") I'm a full hour’s drive from “dahntahn” (Pittsburgh, that is). I just can’t pop over to kibitz with friends or catch a bite to eat late after a parish meeting.
The internet makes me a marked man, to anyone who knows how to do a Google search. It’s clear from my clergy “career” that I have been involved with parishes going through changes—merging parishes or closing churches. In New Castle, too?
On the receiving end each community I have been charged to pastor has a different emotional feel. One, St. Vitus, has said goodbye to a clearly beloved pastor, who served them so well for 26 years. The parish has had only four pastors in its 110 year history. Amazing. At the same time many parishioners know that a few tweaks and changes need to be made.
The other, St. Vincent de Paul, sees its pastor of 2+ years leave, one in a string of priests who have served here since diocesan reorganization merged five ethnic parishes into one back in 1994. Not much time for emotional investment in the departing pastor. And not a whole lot of energy for emotional investment in me, the newest guy in a string of new guys.
This week I am meeting with the lay leadership of the two parishes and St. Vitus school. At tonight’s meeting of the pastoral and finance councils of St. Vitus parish, one member said, “Father, there are rumors out there. They say you’ve been sent to close churches, by May at the latest.” Here is a case where my experience helps. I've learned that how I respond is as important, if not more important, than what I say.
Rather than be threatened or upset, I replied to the effect that rumors thrive in an atmosphere of secrecy. I will use personal conversations, our bulletin and website to present facts to address rumors. I just “keepin’ on keepin’ on” by sharing what I am doing, what the councils are telling me, and presenting the demographics, statistics and situations as they are. In this case I said the rumor is just wrong. The bishop did not charge me with that, and closing churches is nearly the last thing on my mind. If I stay calm in encouraging questions and responding to them, I feel that most reasonable people will get to a calmer place eventually.
People have been welcoming to me, a very good sign. It’s obvious their welcome is genuine and an indicator of the respect they have for their previous parish priests and for the priesthood generally. I hope to respond with gratitude, as they begin the long process of building healthy relationships with me as their spiritual leader.
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