Getting Our Systems in Order

Since I began this great adventure of pastoring four parishes in July, many people have asked me, "How is it going?"  My response depends on my mood at the time.

I have gone from shock, to acceptance, to humble pride (is that an oxymoron or legitimate feeling?) during the bishop's four installation ceremonies, to wondering why I ever said yes to this assignment.  At the moment, I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the questions that are thrown at me, big and small, important and not-too-important.  I feel like I have way too many balls in the air, and any moment my arms are just not going to windmill fast enough to catch enough of them to keep them up there.  

When I do have a few minutes to think seriously about the question, and not just react to my feelings, what pops into my head is "systems."  Two dictionary definitions of "system" are:  "an assemblege or combination of things or parts forming a complex or unitary whole," and "a coordinated body of methods or a scheme or plan of procedure."  It's probably more the latter definition that captures my understanding of systems.  I am struggling to put together the methods or plans of procedure for a whole raft of issues among our four parishes.

It was one of the great Pittsburgh priests of the 20th century who introduced me to systems thinking.  Msgr. Jack McCarren was the head of the diocesan office for social action for 30 years.  At one point he stumbled upon the ground-breaking work of Dr. Murray Bowen, and finagled a sabbatical year from Bishop Vincent Leonard. Jack used this time to get a master's degree in psychology from Dr. Bowen at Georgetown University.  Jack always liked to talk, and when he returned home he never passed up an opportunity to tell one and all about the incredible insights into human behavior of Bowen's family systems theory,  When I served St. Mary of Mercy Parish in downtown Pittsburgh way back in the 1980s, I used to listen to Jack's stories and ideas over lunch (our conversation -really a McCarren soliloquy--sometimes extending to 2:30 or 3:00 p.m.  I must not have been working very hard!).  

(For more information about Bowen's thinking, go to  www.thebowencenter.org .  From the website:  "Bowen family systems theory is a theory of human behavior that views the family as an emotional unit and uses systems thinking to describe the complex interaction in the unity.")  

It was Jack who introduced me to such concepts as triangles, differentiation of self, emotional cutoffs, sibling position, and multigenerational transmission processes.  Others extended Bowen's theory beyond the family.  In particular, reading Rabbi Edwin Friedman's Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue (1985) opened my eyes to seeing how parishes, dioceses, even the entire church was affected by the emotional currents among its leaders.   To this day I continue to look for the connections within families and within parishes using Bowen family systems theory.

In a certain sense, systems theory works at two levels.  One are the "methods or plans of procedure."  In my particular situation in New Castle, this means setting up step-by-step ways of planning, addressing questions, dealing with ordinary life (e.g., scheduling priests for daily Mass, how funeral directors contact the priests to schedule a funeral, working with engaged couples to plan their wedding, etc.) and crises (e.g., visiting a sick parishioner in the hospital ICU).  But I can't just think about one parish.  I have to think of each parish as both an individual parish and part of a larger unit.  

For example, at the moment we are in the process of setting up a central calendar, so that the priests, the school principal, and the parish secretaries know what is happening among the parishes and St. Vitus school.  Each parish knows what is happening in its own universe, but generally does not know what is happening among the other neighboring parishes.  Until there's a process of collecting information about parish events in one location, I feel like I am driving through fog, never sure what's ahead.  Further, the lack of shared information does not help parishioners to see themselves as part of something bigger:  the Catholic community in New Castle.   This is an example of a system my staff and I have to set up.

The other level Bowen systems theory works is on the emotional level.  If we are honest, we all have emotional content to any question or action.  For example, when a parishioner comes up to me after a Sunday Mass, and says, "The priests are hard to get ahold of.  No one wants to answer my question."  I know that I am dealing not just with a person seeking information, but also her emotional content (probably volatile feelings).  Instead of shooting back in a snarky way, "Well, just who do you think you're talking to?  Are you not talking with a priest now?" I've learned the hard way just to listen.  Or, perhaps, I might suggest we go back into the church where we can sit and have an extended conversation -- again, with me mostly listening to her feelings.  There may be a question there, but I have to respond gently to her feelings first.  Perhaps her feelings come not from any priest or church, but from how she has been treated in her family of origin or family of marriage.

As I learned from Rabbi Friedman's book, such emotional context also works within and among parish communities.  For example, before I give a permission or allow some activity in one parish, I have to think about how the parishioners in the other parishes will react.  Will they feel put down by my action, or that I "played favorites" to their detriment?  Or am I just over-thinking?  Parents who have more than one child understand this very well.  I have learned the hard way there are always some emotional currents in decisions I make, on my end as the pastor and in the reception by the parishioners affected.  Having four parishes and a school makes this decision-making a little like a "five-dimensional chess" game and even more complex.

So day by day I am trying to set up the modes of procedures for many important questions and parochial issues.  With Bowen family systems theory in mind, I also try to consider my emotional place in the whole complex of New Castle parishes, as well as where the leaders and faithful are as well.    As Msgr. McCarren was fond of saying, "Don't just do something, sit there and think."